Hi guys,
Top of the morning to you and if you happen to be reading this post in the evening Good day to you.
So, I will give you a little history about me today.
Growing up I was super self-conscious and I owe that to my looks. I always felt like the less beautiful girl among my sisters and worse it felt like all my uncles and aunts didn't like me (now that I am older, I quite understand kids can be a handful). I love kids don't get me wrong. But my point is I started out feeling not beautiful and my family(aunts and uncles) didn't help my self esteem because they would compliment my sisters and forget there was Joy too. It made me wonder how ugly I really was. I began to hear people make comments about my large nostrils and thick lips. It seemed straight pointed nose and tiny cute lips were the preferred option. I hated my face, I would always bite my lips to make it look less full and was constantly looking into a mirror to ensure I looked okay. I did well now I think about it, I still went about looking quite confident and acting like I didn't care what others thought but deep down what they thought about me meant everything. I had no idea that you are or you have the final say in matters that concern you. Basically, I had serious self esteem issues. I cared too much about what others thought but on the surface I put on an I don't care act.
You might ask why did this babe title this post movie review and now she's talking about herself? Forgive me I will talk about the movie now.
So, the first time I watched the movie - I FEEL PRETTY was in 2018. It brought such a nostalgic feeling because I could absolutely understand and relate. Yesterday, I decided to watch it again and this time I had a pen and paper because one major goal for me everyday is to ensure that for everything I do that day, I must learn something.
Here, are a my few lessons from the movie:
1. There are over six billion people in the world and because of this gigantic number you will meet a lot of people.
Now, in your terrible state of insecurity certain people will tell you they are starting where you have as the GOAL(annoying right, pepper on your insecurity). In the movie, the main character meets a girl at soul cycle who seems to have a perfect body. This seemingly perfect girl tells her that we all have to start somewhere and for slightly chubby people like the main character she would give anything to look like that babe. Yeah, so you will meet people who would make you question many things but everyone is on a personal journey so do not feel bad or down and just keep pushing.
2. Always shower.
Yes YOU. Take your bath everyday. Whether we are on lock down or not. Make a date with your bathroom for body cleaning purposes. One thing I heard a lot growing up was "Opportunity comes but once". I do not really agree because I think many of us have been given countless amounts of second chances. But just in case you are destined to have just one opportunity you have to be prepared for any and everything. This might seem like a funny lesson but for someone with low self esteem especially with regards to the body. Your hygiene should always be on the roof (top priority). It has to be something you take too seriously.
3. You do not get beautiful or fix your low self image by wishing and tossing coins.
This one I have more than ample experience with. I wished I could be beautiful as a child. I wished I would be so beautiful when I grow up. The real question now is What is the fuss about being beautiful and who sets the beauty standard ? Like why do you think you aren't beautiful? If you ask yourself why you want to be beautiful so badly and come up with a very good reason then pursue it by all means but instead I would advice you to focus on internal beauty more because BEAUTY DOES FADE and nobody feels beautiful everyday trust me.
4. Confidence is a currency.
So, I am always fascinated by money because there are so many currencies across the world. Confidence to me is also one of those currencies and it is used in the country called THE PUBLIC. In your house within the confines of your room, you can afford to loose your confidence but out here in the real world confidence will get you opportunities, it will get you a job and help you present your self appropriately. Confidence was my savior as a kid. I could not be bullied by my mates because even though it was an act, it helped me seem like a no nonsense babe. It helped me build an amazing public speaking ability. It helped me in more ways than I can begin to talk about now.
5. You do not need anyone's validation for anything in life.
This may seem quite ambiguous in the sense that you need people in life and criticism can be helpful in self evaluation. But in the real sense of everything; it remains your absolute choice to accept what people say or to agree with their criticism. The choice is yours all the way. Your opinion is the most important opinion. If you feel led to go down that path its up to you. If it doesn't turn out to be the best path, you will feel less horrible because somehow you chose to do that and it will be easier to take responsibility because it was your choice.
6. Be yourself
If there is one thing I want to leave as a message to this world the day I die it would be the message of BE YOURSELF. Kelly Rowland in an interview I watched yesterday said there is a reason we all have different thumbprints and I believe it is because we are all different. I agree with her; we are all different and it would be a shame if you waste your life trying to change your thumb print to someones thumbprint. Can you imagine getting a surgery to have similar thumb prints as someone else? Yeah I thought so too. It would be the lamest thing. I believe if you won't change your thumbprint then, please you do not need to be like anyone else. Just be yourself. It's our differences that make us BE-YOU-TIFUL
7. Overconfidence is tricky business
As you become very successful confidence wise. There are always tendencies to think you are the sun or moon that everyone looks up to and you become snobby and in your head. In simple terms, you become proud. You have to watch your confidence as it climbs the confidence ladder. Like, you cannot let overconfidence make you do to others what others used to do to you when you had the lowest self esteem. You have to come back to earth and be a human not a part of the solar system.
8. We are all humans
I wish someone would turn this into a song for me honestly. We easily forget that those people we are striving to be like are clearly like us and suffer insecurities too. If you are too short and wish you were tall, go ask the tall man he'll tell you he wishes he was shorter. One mans meat is another mans poison. One thing I have learnt is that humans are insatiable and thus will always suffer insecurities. Rather than think insecurities are like African depression something that happens but we rather ignore we have to realize everyone suffers from this demon and we need to help each other love ourselves better and know we are part of the ultimate race - the human race.
9. Your friends are invaluable
It is easy to believe you can do good all by yourself but I bring you bad news NO MAN IS AN ISLAND ohoh. Yup no man can just go through life on his own. If we must do the journey of life with people then your friendships need to be super super intentional. Like the value they will add to your life when you choose the right set of friends can't have a price placed on it. They can take you from feeling down to feeling better and most importantly they will remind when you forget how awesome you are. So choose the friends you walk through life with meticulously.
10. Hollywood is super fictitious in some of these movies.
Catch the cruise and lessons and just do you. You might not be able to get all these weird opportunities they may claim you can get in the movies but if you want anything badly I say to you my friend GO FOR IT. The magic is within you. You are so much more than your insecurities and what you think you look like on the outside that is because some of us do not really know what we look like.
After all said and learnt I hope we would go on feeling better about ourselves. If you haven't seen the movie. Go look for it. You will enjoy it.
If you are human like me and also a recovering walking insecurity. Share this post and make sure someone learns something too. I am not there yet but the beauty in all of this is that we can help each other get and feel better. If you would love to ask questions or talk tome personally, you can DM me here on instagram here and here on twitter.
All my love till the next post,
Jak
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