I have been stalling on this post because I wanted to make it very informative and educative. As much as that is a very grand agenda, it was not the post I wanted to write. I think a lot of blogs are filled up with a lot of Self-Forgiveness tips and all that. 

This post was meant to be a vulnerable post. I was going to write about how I needed to forgive myself and how I had actually forgiven myself. I wanted to write a post I wanted to read.

When I started blogging, I was really after personal development from an educational perspective. I wanted to help a lot of people. I wanted to tell them the things I needed to hear but as time went on, I knew I could not come out here and preach a message I wasn't living. It was one of the reasons why I could not really keep blogging. I did not feel I had a right to fill you with information that I had not tested and proven myself. 

One day, however, somebody probably Salem King brought to mind that my story where it is is good enough to tell. I began to envision writing more about how I felt and accepting that lame and foolish, naive and strong-headed as I can be, it does not define who I am as a person. It was just a part of me I needed to get intentional about developing and actually work towards changing.

While trying to put together the post, I checked out the meaning of self-forgiveness and I think it is beautiful and everyone should absolutely see it. 

As I stated earlier, I had found it extremely difficult to write this post and I had wondered why but I realized it was because It had not become personal to me. I had a rough estimate of an idealistic concept but I had not brought it to reality.

While in conversation with my friend yesterday night, I got my post. He had been speaking about how I was super supportive and non-judgemental to something he had shared with me. Quite honestly, since the Holy Spirit began working in and with me, it has become really easy for me to be empathetic towards my people in this world. 

The comment stuck more because about a month ago, another friend of mine had shared something similar with me and had applauded my approach and response to receiving the information. I realized then how much I cared for my friends and wanted to support them.

The question I had to now deal with was Do I administer the same level of care, gentleness, and kindness with myself? Now with forgiveness, you mostly did something wrong or something below your personal standard to have to seek self-forgiveness. 

My point in this post is if you would be supportive of your friends when they do wrong and forgive them, you are your friend too, do the same for yourself. 

When I hadn't written any post since March, I felt completely unserious and irresponsible. I felt like I do this all the time. I was beating myself and not even still doing the work. A few days before my birthday, I learned a beautiful lesson about timing and self-forgiveness. I decided to put my self-loathe behind me and make a promise I intended to keep. 

I am almost at the end of my challenge but the beauty of all this is in the fact that I forgave myself. I decided to be my own friend. I will still do a post where I bring the education and tips to self-forgiveness but that was not what this post was meant for.

I am excited to have been on this journey and have learned as much as I have shared. It has been a surreal experience. Thank you guys for engaging and reading. 

Till my next post,

All my Love,

JAK