Hi guys,

How have you been?

I have been doing great. 

I scheduled one post each week after the rigorous posting challenge I conducted in September. So far, it has been quite consistent but I need to put more structure to my posting schedule to enable me to maximize my experience as well and give you a particular order to when you should expect posts. 

Since the beginning of the week, I had curated like three posts I wanted to share but I got to Saturday and realized this week ends today and, I still haven't posted my post for this week. 

My church camp meeting began yesterday. It is called Reboot Camp. It is a R.I.C.H. time where we get to Rejuvenate, Get Indoctrinated, Celebrate Eternal Life, and Harvest souls for the kingdom of God. 

Honestly speaking, my doctrinal understanding of scripture has taken a positive leap and I understand God's heart towards man better but one place I have really struggled in is my devotion. I have had this consistent back and forth where I pray for one week and after that, I will be on break till the next three months. 

It has been a huge burden on my heart because even from childhood, we have been admonished to read our bibles and pray every day. There is no other way to grow spiritually if you do not adopt this devotion. 

Sometime last week while praying, I realized that whenever I just prayed without an active prayer playlist it was much harder for me to tarry. I have been slightly opposed to depending solely on music to pray but better to pray with music than to not pray at all. 

This morning during one of the prayer sessions from the camp meeting, I realized that it was getting harder for me to stay on and continue praying, so I turned to my prayer playlist and I was able to go the mile. 

I immediately knew that I had found my post for today. These songs help me immensely when praying to stay charged up and edified at the same time. 

1. Octane: Devotion Formula by Outburst Music Group (Album)

2. Kerygma: Lyrical Theology by Outburst Music Group(Album)

3. Fragrance to Fire by Dunsin Oyekan

4. More than a Song by Dunsin Oyekan

5. Imole De by Dunsin Oyekan

6. Broken Vessels by Hillsong 

7. All that Matters by Minister GUC

8. Run to the Father by Cody Carnes

9. Oceans by Hillsong United

10. How He Loves Us by Kim Walker

11. New Creation Worship by Jermaine Leong

12. Maintain by Jonathan McReynolds

13.  My World Needs You by Kirk Franklin, Tasha Cobbs, and Sarah Reeves

14. Surrounded by Michael Smith

15. More and More by Isreal and New Breed

16. My Worship by Phil Thompson

17. Reckless Love by Cory Asbury

18. Victory Belongs to Jesus by Todd Dulaney

19. The Hill and Crossover by Travis Greene (Albums)

20. You Covered Me by Dr. R. A. Vernon and Timothy Reddick

21. What a Beautiful Name by Hillsong Worship

22. So Will I by Hillsong Worship

23. Way Maker by Sinach

24. Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin

25. Zoe by Pastor Emmanuel Iren and Odunayo Adebayo

26. Million Little Miracles by Elevation Worship ft. Joe L. Barnes

27. Talking to Jesus by Elevation Worship ft. Brandon Lake

28. Jireh by Chandler Moore and Naomi Raine (Elevation Worship)

29. To Worship You I Live by Isreal Houghton

30. In Jesus Name by Darlene Zschech

To gain access to my Spotify Gospel playlist, click here.

Wikipedia describes an accessory as an item used to contribute in a secondary manner to an individual's outfit. Often time, an accessory is used as the completing addition to a look. 

To me however, an accessory is a statement. It is that piece I add to tell you I am not like any one else. This school of thought I belong to can easily be portrayed by the numerous who wore it better challenges you see on the internet. No two people style themselves the exact same way, even when they wear the exact same outfit.

Who wore it better?

I am a huge fan and lover of androgyny and I believe with more awareness it will become much easier for fashion lovers who would like to try something different to embrace a different style than they are used to. 

Fashion accessories can be worn or carried. Popular examples of accessories include jewelry, bags, shoes, belts, umbrellas, eyewear, etc. The list is very long. 

For this post, I will be concentrating on bags. 

I met a guy sometime in September and I was fascinated by his simple but amazingly put-together style. He wore a grey top, a pair of skinnies, and these chunky boots that won't leave my head. To add spice to his outfit, he carried this beautiful baguette.

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In my head, I went "Okurrrrrr, Who is this guy?"

Immediately, I was fascinated and just curious as to what the proponents of his style could be. I had the rare privilege of having a conversation with him and the rest they say is history. I went on to write this post so I must say the meeting was a success. 

Now, as a guy, if you're looking to add a little spice to your outfit, I would advice you to add a "feminine purse". Personally, I do not consider these bags feminine but for lack of a better presentation in our culture I have to call them feminine bags. 

I would like to give you a few tips when considering accessorizing with "feminine accessories"

1. Always ensure that the bag is given the center of attraction position.

By this, I mean the bag should be the piece that stands out the most in your outfit. You can tone down every other thing going on with your outfit and put all the focus on your bag.

2. It makes a better statement when it is worn as a strap, carried as a pouch or a baguette bag.

Pouch

Baguette

3. Wear a colorful version of the bag to draw maximum attention to it.

For other inspirations you can draw when looking to style your outfit with "feminine bags". I have curated a few looks below. 

I really hope this post inspires you to move a little outside your fashion comfort zone.

What topics in men's fashion would you like me to talk about or drop tips on. Drop your opinions in the comment section, let's make magic and stay inspired. 

All my Love,

JAK

I first heard this title from a guy named Charles Isidi. He had come for my final year Engineering College week symposium. It had been a really interesting one because four ex-engineers were invited to share what life had been for them after studying Engineering but going on to practice something absolutely different. 

Charles had made such a strong impression because he had opined that whenever people found out he had originally studied engineering, he felt like hiding that fact. I had laughed it off very hardly. I knew in a few years I would be like these ones. 

I would be following my passion, fashion and trying to draw lessons from engineering that I would apply in my future career line. 

After the symposium, we were afforded the opportunity to chat one on one with a few of the speakers and your guess is as good as mine. I went to chat with Charlie Boy. 

We had an intense short conversation which I extremely enjoyed. One thing stood out from that conversation however. I cannot remember now what the context of the conversation was but I remember this line.

"You miss a 100% of the chances you do not take". 

I wrote it down immediately. I mean they say the "shortest pencil is longer than the longest memory". That is part of the reason it is very easy for me to remember. 

Fast forward to 2020, I attended an Instagram course with Salem King, Alma Asinobi and Dimeji and it was a very beautiful experience. I learnt a lot from the course but my most exciting take home was when Salem pointed out that if you miss an experience, no matter how much they tell you about it as long as you were not there you missed out on the experience will never be able to get it back. 

It was a subtle shade and encouragement to us who were attending the class to never miss out on opportunities we believe might be beneficial to us. The statement changed something within me. I know FOMO (fear of missing out) is a real fear and it is used mostly in a negative sense but I think we might need to adopt it when we need courage to take some leaps that seem to mind boggling at first.

Last week, while reading One thing you cannot do in heaven, while the author explained that we should have no fear of sharing our faith, he buttressed that we miss a 100% of the shots we do not take when we allow fear rob us of sharing our faith with whoever. 

At this point, after encountering this information thrice at different stages of my life I knew I had to write about it. 

I have been taking risks lately and as scary as it seems. It is changing something within me. 

This post is just an encouragement. It is just me asking you nicely yo go out there and do that thing you're frightened about. 

By giving it a shot, you have moved up the percentile. It is better to know you shot and missed than to regret never shooting at all. 

I have been great. How have you been? 

Let me know what has been going on with you in the comment section. 

All my Love.

JAK

Hi guys.

Wassap!!!

Happy New Month and if you're Nigerian Happy Independence Day.

September was ballsy. I am not sure if it was because it was my birthday month or not but it was everything and more. This should be a very interesting read and an amebo filled one too. 

My consistency this period has been scary but at the same time, it has made me believe in myself so much. I started the month with hopes that I would finish my 30-day content writing birthday challenge and the rest is history that you would hear in this post sha. 

MAJOR EVENT

In September, there were a lot of major events if you ask me. I am completely overwhelmed by all that happened so I guess I will just outline a few of the events and change the heading to Major Events. 

The First Major thing that happened was Following through with my birthday challenge. I am sure a lot of you are tired of hearing about the challenge. I burst my own head that is why I am just amazed. I do not know myself to be consistent at anything other than watching movies. So, writing consistently for a whole month was such a giant milestone for me. 

The second major event was switching industries. It is literally the biggest risk I ever took. I am such a scaredy-cat. Like I am literally scared of dogs and other moving things. My fear often translates into really serious stuff like making a big decision about my life and all that. An opportunity opened up to follow my dreams. Ask me what my dreams are but I didn't think for too long, I just took the opportunity before fear could get the better of me. I almost had a mental breakdown from the decision but I am so glad I took it.

If you would like the intricate scoop details, Hit me up on Instagram here. 

The third major event was my birthday. I turned 23 full years in September and my life has never remained the same. I am a new woman. I had my type of birthday, the layman calls it boring or basic but I call it phenomenal. 

It started with me sneaking off to work really early that day and looking my absolute shiniest. Forgive me for not having the decency to take a proper picture that day. I will do better going forward. I got a cake at work and drank wine. Fancy right?

After all the excitement at the office, I got a lot of calls from my numerous lovers and food from some of my closer lovers. I had a good time and a very quiet day where I spent most of the day with myself. I reflected on some of my life lessons and all the nuggets I had shared on here. I had a really good time honestly. I am so grateful for the trajectory of my life. 

MAJOR SETBACK

I didn't have time to intentionally pursue self-development. I love to share but I believe as we share it is only natural that we want to learn more so that we can share much more. I could not spend substantial time reading or learning about stuff as I would have liked to. I had said during the last edition of this series that I would like to read Seth Godin's books last month but with the change in the job industry and all the numerous factors beyond my control I could not follow through.

MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT

I would say my major accomplishment in September was finishing my blog challenge. 

In the month of September, I was 

READING: One Thing You Cannot Do In Heaven. I just cried in an earlier sentence about how I did not have enough time to pursue my personal development intentionally. In the last week of the month, however, a book by the above-mentioned title was shared in church and I started reading it and could not put it down afterward. It is a testament of a man who had evangelized to so many people and what his thoughts on sharing the Gospel are. If you would like a copy, please indicate it in the comment section.

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WORKING: On my skills. I have a lot of things I want to do and there is a lot of learning involved. I am working on being better skilled and more knowledgeable.  

APPRECIATING: My family. I had my mom, brother, and sister around with me for almost three weeks and it was a magical time. I realized why I usually go MIA when I'm home with the family. They make home a safe sanctuary to retreat to. I will miss them so much now that they've gone home and my brother to school.

LISTENING: To Nina Simone and Jazz. I love my music the way I love it. I have a penchant for old music. It fills my soul and makes me feel like I'm in a fairy tale. At work, I get to listen to some of my favorites and I am loving everything I am listening to right now. 

LEARNING: Expression through various art forms especially fashion on a broader scale. I am a creative person and find myself most content when I am creating. It is normal my ABBA is the creator. I have been prioritizing my learning when it comes to art and I am excited for all that is to come. 

PLANS FOR OCTOBER

I want to blow my mind with how much I learn and apply. I can't remember for certain but somebody said that Wisdom without application shows lack of understanding. I will be prioritizing my application which in turn should translate to proving how much I understand. 

I have no doubt that October will be amazing. Once again, I would like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has followed this blog and has been supporting me consistently. Special Shout out to Aunty Divine. Thanks so much. Your feedback is a push for me to keep moving. 

If there is anything you would like me to discuss or address in October, I will be happy to. Please leave your suggestions in the comment section and if you don't mind, I would love to know one lesson you learned in September that will be beneficial to me too. 

You can connect personally with me on Instagram here

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All my Love,

JAK 

Hi guys,

This is the last post in the birthday challenge series. It is just me drawing a few lessons from the experience and charging you to keep going regardless. 

The joy I feel right now can be equated to having $1 billion dollars in my account. I feel super successful and cannot believe I actually came to the end of this experience. 

I remember when I started it, I had just read a book by Blessing Abeng where she interviewed Seth Godin and he shared wisdom on Starting and Quitting. I had just learned what true consistency meant and I was determined to prove to myself that I could and would stay consistent for 30 days which in turn meant was going to be writing for a long time. 

It is the hardest challenge I have ever undergone but the joy and fulfillment that actually comes with finishing a task is absolutely worth it.  

I will outline all the posts here, to give you access to my birthday challenge catalog. Your support and engagement have been incredible. I could not have gone as far as I have gone now without your consistent support. For that, I say a big Thank You.

The Posts in order of how I wrote them are:

A Letter to my 23- Year old self

Keep Walking

Those Days When It is Hard 

ME vs. Me

Come and Go

Feeling Ladipoe ft. Buju

It has been God all the way 

The Circle 

LOST

One Step at A Time

The D.E.V.I.L. Made Me Do It

Defining Moments: August In A Nutshell

A Tribute to my dear Sister

I am Showing Jesus

22 Lessons from 22

Creativity is Subtraction

Every Post I Have Ever Written

Once Upon A Time

10 Favorite Instagram Accounts

DO YOU!

My Favorite Looks from The Met Gala

Who Is Jak?

Don't Jump. Take the Stairs 

A Letter to the Birthday Girl

Introducing The Jaktionary

Self-Forgiveness

On Consistency

Why I Bother With Doing Me

On Sharing

Never Give Up

The Lessons have been profound as well. I am sure you will see a lot of them while reading some of these posts but the most profound of the lot has been.

1. You deserve more credit because every phase is preparing you for that phase. 

2. The dots will connect moving forward not going backward.

3. When it gets hard, take a break but set an alarm for when you must get up and continue.

4. No two days are the same. They come with different intensities of Joy and Sorrow.

5. Let the Holy Spirit always Lead you.

6. There is something you are great at, find it and utilize it as much as you can.

7. Planning and Strategy is an inestimable quality, develop it regardless. 

8. Tell the stories you want to hear, write the posts you want to read.

9. Never lose yourself and the reason you started in the first place.

10. When learning to ride a bicycle, once you've pedaled for a short mile, you can absolutely go for a long mile. In essence, regardless of where you are, once you start moving, the journey gets easier. 

I had fun creating this content and the best part was the last couple of days. I could not find the motivation to finish. I had to get back to my drawing book and change some topics but it was all with it in the end. I am grateful for the experience generally.

It is a wrap guys. Thanks for going on this journey with me.

All my Love,

JAK

This morning I wore a dress and had my hair neatly folded and topped the outfit with proper court shoes. I looked as though I was taking on a case today. I complained all the way to work. Usually, I can wear whatever but if I have to dress a certain way for anyone I realize I lose a sense of myself that day. 

When my mom came to visit me two weeks ago, she got a first-hand glimpse into what an outfit in a workday with Jak looks like. She began to make her reservations and observations about how "girly" clothes were missing in my outfit choices. Day after day, she watched me wear one trouser to another with barely any consideration for skirts and dresses. 

I have enjoyed wearing trousers for as long as I can remember which was what also led to me wearing a pair of trousers for my thanksgiving service in the University where the expectation would usually be a beautiful dress and a nice head tie.

I am maximalist and so bigger is better but for some reason, I also prioritize comfort which to me means a pair of trousers. 

The first thing I noticed was, everyone at work commented about how different I looked. I knew something was actually different. My countenance, my level of confidence, and my comfort were all threatened.

I do me because it is the only way I know to express myself. I do me because I cannot do anybody else no matter how hard I try. I do me because there is only one me in the entire world. 

Hi guys,

Good morning, afternoon or evening depending on what time of the day you are reading this post. My birthday went well and I had a nice day. I had been struggling to write the last five posts I promised which was partly why I could only write three sentences in my last post here. 

When I began the birthday challenge, it was a test of consistency. I made a promise to myself and wanted to ensure I was credible enough to keep my word to myself. Just when I had reached the near end of the challenge, I began to experience some slight difficulty in completing my task.

Consistency as defined by dictionary.com is the condition of cohering or holding together and retaining form; solidity or firmness.

Generally, consistency has to have a coherent beginning, middle, and end. 

I had gone through my beginning phase which was awesome and pushed me to get to the middle and after the middle, it was time to get to the end but the end now seemed to be the most difficult. 

I remember when I was in university at the beginning I was super inspired. I kept pushing, I was completely positive. As I got to the middle of my schooling, it wasn't as easy but I knew that if I gave up I would definitely not make it to the end. I persevered but as I drew near to the end, something snapped and it was as though I no longer had what it took to get to the finish line. 

Thank God for a good support system and Christ, I was able to hold up till the end.

My point is consistency gets harder as you reach the end but it won't be complete if you do not actually reach the end. 

I will give you a few tips on dealing with cold feet close to the end of your task or big consistency challenge.

Disclaimer: These are the things I did to get back on track. They are not dogma and I am not quoting from anyone. 

1. Identify what the challenge is. In my case, I felt very overwhelmed and unmotivated especially because I had missed the date deadline.

2. Set a new deadline. 

3. Create a plan of what you need to make executing easier for you. In my case, I wrote down all the posts I had left and what I needed to write each post. 

4. Start by working when you probably feel like not doing that the most. In my case, I wrote a blog post with three sentences.

5. Slowly follow through with the plan.

I am back up and with this post, I am one more post closer to the end. I am happy that I learned a lot through the process. 

It has been fun, blood and tears guys. 

Till my next post,

All my Love,

JAK.

I have been stalling on this post because I wanted to make it very informative and educative. As much as that is a very grand agenda, it was not the post I wanted to write. I think a lot of blogs are filled up with a lot of Self-Forgiveness tips and all that. 

This post was meant to be a vulnerable post. I was going to write about how I needed to forgive myself and how I had actually forgiven myself. I wanted to write a post I wanted to read.

When I started blogging, I was really after personal development from an educational perspective. I wanted to help a lot of people. I wanted to tell them the things I needed to hear but as time went on, I knew I could not come out here and preach a message I wasn't living. It was one of the reasons why I could not really keep blogging. I did not feel I had a right to fill you with information that I had not tested and proven myself. 

One day, however, somebody probably Salem King brought to mind that my story where it is is good enough to tell. I began to envision writing more about how I felt and accepting that lame and foolish, naive and strong-headed as I can be, it does not define who I am as a person. It was just a part of me I needed to get intentional about developing and actually work towards changing.

While trying to put together the post, I checked out the meaning of self-forgiveness and I think it is beautiful and everyone should absolutely see it. 

As I stated earlier, I had found it extremely difficult to write this post and I had wondered why but I realized it was because It had not become personal to me. I had a rough estimate of an idealistic concept but I had not brought it to reality.

While in conversation with my friend yesterday night, I got my post. He had been speaking about how I was super supportive and non-judgemental to something he had shared with me. Quite honestly, since the Holy Spirit began working in and with me, it has become really easy for me to be empathetic towards my people in this world. 

The comment stuck more because about a month ago, another friend of mine had shared something similar with me and had applauded my approach and response to receiving the information. I realized then how much I cared for my friends and wanted to support them.

The question I had to now deal with was Do I administer the same level of care, gentleness, and kindness with myself? Now with forgiveness, you mostly did something wrong or something below your personal standard to have to seek self-forgiveness. 

My point in this post is if you would be supportive of your friends when they do wrong and forgive them, you are your friend too, do the same for yourself. 

When I hadn't written any post since March, I felt completely unserious and irresponsible. I felt like I do this all the time. I was beating myself and not even still doing the work. A few days before my birthday, I learned a beautiful lesson about timing and self-forgiveness. I decided to put my self-loathe behind me and make a promise I intended to keep. 

I am almost at the end of my challenge but the beauty of all this is in the fact that I forgave myself. I decided to be my own friend. I will still do a post where I bring the education and tips to self-forgiveness but that was not what this post was meant for.

I am excited to have been on this journey and have learned as much as I have shared. It has been a surreal experience. Thank you guys for engaging and reading. 

Till my next post,

All my Love,

JAK